The Three A's of Dick Grayson
by The Official Girl Wonder
Summary: This is a series of one-shots about Dick being Astute, Annoying, or Adorable. In other words, he's torturing his friends.
1. Kidnappers

**The Official Girl Wonder presents…**

**The Three A's of Dick Grayson: Adorable, Astute, and Annoying**

**Or**

**The Three Curses of Robin**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any DC characters, no matter how much I want to.**

Chapter 1: Kidnappers (Astute)

"No!" shouted nine-year-old Dick Grayson.

"Yes!" shouted thirteen-year-old Roy Harper.

"No!" shouted Dick.

"Yes!" shouted fourteen-year-old Barbara Gordon.

"NO!"

Instead of answering, Barbara just rubbed her temples as Roy continued to literally drag Dick towards the small white building.

"No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Noooooooo!"

"Give it a rest already!" responded Roy, "We don't like this either, but everyone has to go to the dentist at some point!"

"He's right, you know," added an exasperated Barbara. She and Roy were rarely in the same place, but they got along very well when they were due to their mutual "younger brother": Dick Grayson.

Said child was still struggling madly to get out of Roy's grip.

"No! No! No! No! No!"

They were almost to the door, and both teens were about to release a relieved sigh when Dick's face turned from _panicked _to _evil_.

"KIDNAPPERS! SOMEBODY HELP ME! I WANT MY MOMMY!"

Now, every adult in the vicinity turned to the screaming little boy.

The teenagers did look pretty suspect. Roy was now covering Dick's mouth in an attempt to stop the screams, and Barbara was standing in front of them, trying in vain to block everyone's view.

Then, Dick started crying and everyone regarded Roy and Barbara with hostility. A policeman started to walk over.

Barbara put on her best smile and said, "We're not kidnapping him! Honest! We're just taking him to see the dentist!"

"I'm sorry, young lady, but I'll need you three to come downtown with me."

However, before Barbara could protest (which she would have done, being the commissioner's daughter), someone started yelling, and it wasn't Dick.

The two turned to see an elderly woman repeatedly hitting Roy with her purse.

"You leave that little boy alone!"

"Augh! Ouch! Lady, we're not kidnappers! Ow!"

Barbara would have laughed if Roy's distress was not so evident. Instead, she rushed over to stand between him and the provoked senior citizen.

"Miss, we're not kidnappers. This boy is-"

She didn't get to finish due to the mace suddenly being sprayed into her eyes.

Barbara screamed, and when Roy tried to help her, he also got a face-full of the offensive substance.

Dick watched on as the two redheads lay writhing on the ground, trying to control his laughter.

He quickly gave up however, and began giggling uncontrollably.

Roy stood up, glaring at Dick through bloodshot eyes.

"I'm going to kill you, you little-"

"I said leave the boy alone!" yelled the same woman, hitting Roy even harder.

"Augh! Come on! We're not murderers either! No, not the face! AH!"

**My little cousin did this once.**

**I know it's short, but there's more to come!**

**Review and/or subscribe!**


	2. Wally, Wally, Wally!

**Heya! The Official Girl Wonder is back with…**

**The Three A's of Dick Grayson: Adorable, Astute, and Annoying**

**Or**

**The Three Curses of Robin**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Young Justice. I don't own Dick Grayson or any of his traits beginning with the letter A. I don't own the letter A. Let's see…I don't own the United Nations either.**

Chapter 2: Wally, Wally, Wally (Annoying)

Thirteen-year old Wally West was doing his math homework. That is, he was attempting to do his math homework when his raven-haired, eleven-year old friend burst into the room without knocking.

Startled, Wally turned to look at Dick. "Hey, what's up?"

Instead of answering, Dick walked over to Wally's bed and sat down without a word, all the while avoiding eye contact.

"Um…Is something wrong, Dick? You're being kind of quiet."

Dick shook his head and stared intently at the wall. Obviously, the secrets of the universe were etched upon it.

Wally then shook his own head. He had agreed to hang out with Dick while Flash and Batman did…whatever superheroes do that doesn't allow for kids in the vicinity. However, Dick had been oddly silent since arriving at the Allen household. Wally figured that something must have been bothering the kid, but decided not to press it.

"Alright, just tell me if you want to…do anything."

Wally turned back to his assignment and silence reigned for a while. Then…

"Wally," Dick whispered.

"Yeah?"

Dick didn't respond.

"Dick, did you just say my name?"

Dick only shrugged and continued figuring out the secrets of the universe.

Wally went back to his homework.

"Wally," Dick repeated, a bit louder this time.

"Yeah?"

Dick didn't respond again.

"If you want to say something, go ahead. I'm not that busy, you know."

This time, Dick didn't even shrug.

Wally sighed. Before he could put his pencil to the paper though, he heard his name once again.

"Wally," Dick repeated at normal volume this time.

"What is it already?"

"Wally."

"Yes?"

"Wally."

"Yes?"

"Wally."

"Yeeessss?" Wally was starting to develop an eye tick.

A huge grin broke out on Dick's face. Wally knew that grin. It foretold of bad things to come.

"Wally? Wally? Wally? Wally?"

"Oh, come on! Just tell me what you want already!"

Now, in a singsong voice, Dick chanted, "Wally. Wally. Wally. Wally."

"Dick, cut it out."

"Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally! Wa-"

Dick was interrupted by the older boy trying to pounce on him. The young acrobat swiftly dodged and took off down the stairs, singing:

"_Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!_

_Wally's my best friend!_

_Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!_

_He's a freckle-faced redhead!_

_Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!_

_He is kind of weird!_

_I hope Wally, Wally, Wally never grows a beard!"_

"Dick Grayson!" the young speedster shouted from the top of the stairs, "Stop that right now!"

Dick just kept singing.

"_Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!_

_Wally is Kid Flash!_

_Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!_

_Wally's really fast!_

_Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!_

_Wally eats a lot!_

_One time Alfred made some soup, and_

_Wally ate the whole pot!"_

"Hey, I was hungry!" Wally yelled, speeding down the stairs and stopping in front of the eleven-year old.

"_Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!_

_Wally is thirteen!_

_Though I think Wally, Wally, Wally,_

_Acts like he is three!"_

"That's it, bird brat!" Wally commenced trying to catch Dick, but the little boy wonder was too nimble to be apprehended. He flipped all over the living room, singing:

"_Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!_

_Wally can't sit still!_

_One time Wally tried to vibrate_

_Through a window sill!_

_Wally got a nosebleed!_

_I began to laugh so hard!_

_You can always laugh at Wally,_

_No matter whom you are!"_

"Okay, really? What kid is this annoying, but still remembers the difference between 'who' and 'whom'?"

"I am!

"_Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!_

_Wally's angry now!_

_Wally, Wally, Wally, Wally's_

_Gonna have a cow!_

_Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!_

_Wally's chasing me!_

_Wally! Wally! Once again,_

_He's acting like he's three!"_

Wally finally caught up to Dick and put him in a headlock to stop the singing.

Of course, at that moment, Bruce and Barry entered the front door.

At the sight of Barry's thirteen-year old nephew apparently strangling Bruce's eleven-year old ward, Barry cocked an eyebrow and Bruce threw a Bat-glare.

"Um…this isn't what it looks like. Right, Dick?"

"Help! Wally's hurting me!"

"WHAT?"

_**Wally! Wally! Wally! Wally!**_

**Great, now I have that stuck in my head.**

**Please review! If you don't, I'll track you down, stand at your front door, and sing a very similar song using YOUR name. Review or face my wrath!**


	3. Shortterm Memory Loss

**I can't believe this story has thirty reviews after only two chapters while my five-chaptered story got eight reviews and my six-chaptered story got only two…It just shows that there's no rhyme or reason for these things. I'm ecstatic nonetheless.**

**Without further ado, The Official Girl Wonder presents…**

**The Three A's of Dick Grayson: Adorable, Astute, and Annoying**

**Or**

**The Three Curses of Robin**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Young Justice, WE WOULD HAVE OUR FREAKIN' EPISODES.**

Chapter 3: Short-term Memory Loss (Annoying)

Bruce Wayne walked through the door of Wayne Manor, followed by his thirteen-year old ward, Dick Grayson.

Dick usually didn't do much to frustrate Bruce. He was such a well-behaved child…most of the time. Today, the teenager simply ticked Bruce off.

"Okay, Dick, let me get this straight. Alfred had to pick you up from school because you got into a fight. Then, I had to come out of my meeting to talk to you. Is that correct?"

"Um…Yeah, I think so."

"What do you mean _you think so_?

"I don't actually remember it all that well. It's kind of blurry."

"…Okay…Anyway, you got into a fight at school. Why?"

"Um…I forgot."

"Dick Grayson, you wouldn't forget unless it was a senseless fight. I know it wasn't senseless fighting because I raised you better than that, _right_?"

Dick sighed. "Yeah, Bruce, I know. If I ever fight for a reason other than defending myself or defending others, you will lock me in my room until the apocalypse comes."

"That's right. So, what started this fight?"

"I forgot."

"Dick…"

"Oh, wait! I remember now. Those kids were picking on me for 'being on their turf'."

"What does that mean?"

"They don't like new kids in detention."

Bruce froze. "You were in detention, too? Why were you in detention?"

"I don't remember."

"Richard John Grayson, I'm not amused by this forgetting game of yours."

"It's not a game, Bruce! I…Oh yeah, I was unprepared for class."

"They give detentions for being unprepared for class?"

"That school is crazy!"

"Okay, back on topic. How were you unprepared for class?"

"I forgot my history project."

"…You mean the one that you've been working on for the past month?"

"Yeah, that's the one!"

"How on earth did you forget that?"

"Um, I think it had something to do with me leaving my planner in my locker yesterday."

"Why would you leave your planner?"

"I just forgot it." Dick shrugged.

Bruce took a deep breath. After feeling confident that he wouldn't yell at the boy, he spoke again.

"Alright, let me see if I have my facts straight now. You forgot to bring your planner home from school, which made you forget to take your project to school, which landed you in detention, which resulted in you fighting with the other students." Bruce's eye was visibly twitching now. "Is that correct?"

"I…think so."

"Dick, I want a straight answer!"

Before Dick could say anything else, the two heard someone's throat clearing.

Bruce turned to Alfred, who calmly stated, "Perhaps Master Dick's…short-term memory loss is a result of the concussion he received yesterday playing football in his physical education class."

Bruce went wide-eyed and just blinked for a moment. Dick broke the silence.

"I got a concussion?"

"Yes, but it is minor."

"Is that why I don't remember getting a concussion?"

"I would think so."

"Is that also why I can't remember waking up this morning? Or breakfast? Or lunch? Or-"

"Dick," Bruce interrupted, "You didn't even have lunch. You got that detention in your first period class, and it's only 9:15 right now."

"Oh…but I shouldn't have been in school at all today, right? I mean, if I have a concussion and all…"

"Master Dick, I did tell you to stay home."

"You did?"

"Yes, and then I told you to inform Master Bruce about your condition because I had other matters to attend to at the time."

"Oh…" Dick smiled sheepishly under the adults' combined gaze. "Well, I guess that explains that! I better finish that history project!"

"Dick, you already finished it!"

**For those of you thinking, "Another Annoying? Where's Adorable?" This fic will be much more than three chapters. Adorable is in the next chapter. I just had this idea first.**

**Reviews make me happy. I write better when I'm happy. So, if you want good chapters, review!**


	4. Injury

**I apologize times a hundred for the long wait. First, I had writer's block. Then, I had to fly to Virginia. Then, I came back home. Then, my school decided to take advantage of my writer's block by giving me more homework. After that, it's all a blur that I won't even try to decipher.**

**The Official Girl Wonder comes to you with…**

**The Three A's of Dick Grayson: Adorable, Astute, and Annoying**

**Or**

**The Three Curses of Robin**

**Disclaimer: Do I own the light bulb patent? No. Do I own Alaska? No. Do I own every sci-fi novel known to man? No. What makes you think I own Young Justice?**

Chapter 4: Injured (Adorable and Astute)

"Hey, Dick, I'm here!" called fourteen-year old Barbara Gordon as she entered Wayne Manor.

Bruce Wayne had decided to take Alfred Pennyworth to a museum for his birthday. However, since Dick had a major homework assignment to finish, Bruce had called Barbara to look after the eight-year old.

"Hey, Barbara!" Dick chirped as he came running to hug his friend.

Barbara couldn't help but smile. Dick was just so cute bouncing up and down and showing off those big blue eyes of his.

"So, what do you want to do today, Dicky?"

"I want to go outside!"

Barbara was about to open the door when she remembered Bruce talking about some homework Dick had yet to finish.

"Wait a second. Do you still have homework?"

"Yeah,"

"Maybe you should get that done first."

"Aww," Dick said softly, "I wanted to show you a trick I learned at the circus."

"That's okay. I can wait until you finish."

"It's a really hard assignment, though. It might take me hours to do!"

"I can help you with it."

"No, my teacher says that I can't get help with it. She said something about me being an example for the rest of the class by being…in-de-pen-dent,"

Barbara giggled. Dick still had a little trouble with three and four syllable words because of the transition from Romani to English.

"I really want to go outside, Babs. Please?" Dick asked.

Dick's face was starting to change. Barbara knew this change well. The face he was in the process of making meant that Dick would get exactly what he wanted no matter what.

Before Barbara could stop the inevitable, Dick's eyes grew wider and his lips began to tremble.

_Not the tears,_ Barbara mentally pleaded, _Please don't start with the tears._

Needless to say, Dick's eyes began to well up, and after about two seconds, Barbara couldn't take it anymore.

"Alright, we can go outside."

Dick smiled. "Thank you so much, Babs!" he said, darting outside.

Barbara sighed. He was just too cute. It wasn't fair.

* * *

><p>Dick had shown Barbara his trick and now stood in the branches of a tall tree.<p>

"Dick, be careful up there!"

"Don't worry, Babs! I'm a Flying Grayson! I'm not going to fall out of this silly tree!"

Barbara laughed at Dick's consistent self-confidence. Even his attitude was adorable. Darn it!

"Hey, Babs, what's wrong with this squirrel? He looks like he ate Bruce's cooking."

Barbara looked up into the tree to see Dick approaching the squirrel in question.

Her smile quickly faded when she saw what Dick was talking about.

"Dick! Get down from there! That squirrel has rabies!"

"Babies?" Dick asked, turning a scrunched-up face to Barbara. "I thought it was a boy."

"No, Dick, it has rabies. You'll get sick if it bites you."

"Oh," Dick said, eyes widening as he slowly backed away from the squirrel.

Barbara didn't have time to warn him before he misjudged his next step, slipped off of the branch, and fell to the ground.

"Dick! Are you okay?" Barbara practically screamed as she ran over to the boy.

"Uhn…Yeah, I'm okay," Dick responded shaking some twigs out of his hair.

Barbara released a heavy sigh of relief and helped Dick to his feet.

Dick winced.

That was when they both noticed Dick's arm bleeding.

* * *

><p>Barbara waited patiently in the living room. She wanted to help Dick, but he had insisted that he could wrap his own arm. Barbara consented, feeling that the little boy's pride had already been wounded enough. His parents had probably taught him how to deal with such injuries anyway.<p>

Dick came out of the bathroom with his left arm taped up.

"How do you feel?"

"Better," Dick said, but Barbara thought she saw him wince again, "I'm hungry, though."

"Alright, Alfred left something for you."

After Dick had eaten, Barbara said, "Maybe you should get started on that assignment."

"Okay," Dick said, but he let out a hiss upon moving out of the chair. Barbara was at his side in a split second.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah…but my arm really hurts."

"Maybe I should take you to the hospital."

"No, that's okay. It's just a struthio camelus sprain. All I need is some rest."

Barbara blinked with uncertainty. If he knew the technical term, he must have known how to treat it, right?

"Can I go lie down?" Dick asked, interrupting Barbara's train of thought. "I'm supposed to be in bed for a few hours."

"Oh, okay," Barbara said, but then turned to look at the clock. It read 6:30 pm.

"Dick, don't you still have that homework assignment to finish? That shouldn't hurt your arm, so you can lie down after completing it, okay?"

"Well, I guess…but the last time I got a struthio camelus, the doctor told me not to do any work because the nerve endings in my arm will be marginally linked to the synapses that lead to my medulla for the next few hours."

_Huh?_

"Oh…um, okay…but what are you going to do about that homework?"

"I don't know. Please, Babs? I'm so tired," Dick moaned, the puppy eyes coming back. Barbara felt a pang of guilt. Who was she to deprive this adorable little boy of convalescence?

"Alright, you go to bed. I'll do the assignment for you. Just don't tell anyone."

"Really? Thanks!"

"No prob, squirt."

* * *

><p>"Dick? Barbara? We're home!" called Bruce.<p>

"Shh!" Barbara whispered, coming down the stairs, "Dick's resting."

Bruce's eyes widened in shock. "You got him to fall asleep before 8:00? How?" Bruce was already wondering whether the boy had been abducted by extraterrestrials while he was gone.

"Um…well…You see, he got a struthio camelus sprain playing outside."

"Struthio camelus sprain?" Bruce asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Yeah, it means that the nerve endings in his arm are marginally linked to the synapses that lead to his medulla," Barbara stated, not mentioning that she only knew this complicated bit of information because an eight-year old told her, "In other words, he needs to lie down and not focus on anything to hard."

_Is she serious?_ Bruce wondered.

"Barbara, he can't have a struthio camelus sprain."

"Why not?"

"_Struthio camelus_ is the scientific name for ostrich."

While Barbara's mouth dropped open, Bruce called upstairs, "Dick, get down here!"

A moment later, the deviously adorable bundle of energy known as Dick Grayson came bounding down the stairs.

"Hey, Bruce! How was the museum? Did you and Alfred see anything cool? Did-"

He stopped short upon seeing that Bruce, Barbara, and now Alfred, who had just recently entered the room, all watched him expectantly.

"What?"

Bruce nodded towards Dick's arm. Dick obeyed the tacit order and came over so that Bruce could inspect it.

Bruce unraveled the tape on Dick's arm and slowly shook his head once he finished.

Dick gave a large smile that could only mean, "Please don't kill me."

"What is it?" Barbara asked.

"It's just a little cut," Bruce responded, "That's no reason to skip homework, Dick."

"You little sneak!" Barbara said accusingly, "You tricked me into doing your homework for you!"

"Master Richard," Alfred added, "Deceiving Miss Barbara was an act of very poor judgment. We are very disappointed in you."

Alfred then left the room to cook dinner.

Dick had been trying the puppy eyes on Alfred while he spoke, but of course, no one's puppy eyes could penetrate the forces of Alfred.

So, he now changed to a look of intense guilt. _Oh, no_, thought Bruce and Barbara.

He sniffled a few times before whispering, "I…I'm sorry. I (hic) I d-didn't mean to do anything bad. I don't want you guys to be d-disappointed in me." Tears now began to run down his face. "Please forgive me. Please? I'm r-really sorry. I won't do it again…"

Now, Dick was full out crying.

Barbara looked to Bruce. Bruce looked for Alfred, only to remember that he wasn't there.

He sighed, turning his attention to the crying child.

"All right, Dick. I'm still disappointed, but I won't punish you. I want you to go to your room and think about what you did."

Dick nodded and walked upstairs.

After the boy was out of earshot, Barbara said, "You know he's faking, right?"

As if on cue, they heard Dick's video game console turn on.

Bruce sighed. "I know, but…"

"Yeah," Barbara agreed, "He's just too cute. It's not fair."

**I'm personally disappointed with this, but I hope it's just me being too hard on myself. Let me know.**

**ALSO, IF YOU HAVE SUGGESTIONS FOR LATER CHAPTERS, TELL ME! Especially suggest stuff for the Adorable chapters because I was drawing a blank on this for a very long time.**

**Yes, _struthio camelus_ really is the scientific name for ostrich. :)**


	5. Arty, what's this?

**Courtesy of The Official Girl Wonder, you now have…**

**The Three A's of Dick Grayson: Astute, Annoying, and Adorable**

**Or**

**The Three Curses of Robin**

**Disclaimer: I OWN EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR…Just kidding. I own nothing (for now).**

Chapter 5: Arty, what's that? (Annoying and Astute)

_Recognize: Artemis B07_

Artemis Crock silently walked into Mount Justice. She'd had a pretty bad day at school, and just wanted to chill at the cave.

"Stupid new school…Stupid new classmates…Stupid new teachers…Stupid malfunctioning locker…Stupid-"

She stopped her disgruntled muttering short when she saw Robin walking towards her from the kitchen with a smile.

"Hey, Arty, what's up?"

Artemis smiled back. Robin had a way of doing that to people.

"Oh, nothing much. I just had a rough day at school. It's no biggie."

"Ah," Robin said, as if he knew exactly what she was talking about (hint, hint).

Then, he snapped his fingers and said, "I know what'll cheer you up!"

Before Artemis could ask what, he had pulled her back into the kitchen.

"Robin, why are we here?"

Robin pretended not to hear her, searching all around the room for something.

"Robin-"

"Found it!"

He walked over to a very confused Artemis, holding a can opener.

"Hey, Arty, what's this?"

"Um…a can opener."

"Oh, okay," he said, then ran off to find something else.

"What? Batman never taught you what a can opener looks like?" She hadn't meant to sound demeaning, but she'd had a long day. Robin didn't appear to notice. Instead, he came back with a few more choice items.

"What's this?"

Trying not to get upset, she slowly answered, "A spork."

"What's this?"

"A skillet."

"What's this?"

"A book."

"What's it about?"

Artemis glanced at the title (which was written in bright red letters that Robin should have been able to read for himself), and answered, "It's a Sherlock Holmes novel."

"What's it about?"

"I don't know! I'm not a Sherlock Holmes fan!"

Robin looked at the title himself.

"Oh, I know this one! It's _A Study in Scarlet_. I found it pretty boring. One guy forces a girl to marry him. However, since she can't marry the guy of her dreams, she dies of depression. Then the other guy- the one she was in love with in the first place –comes back years later and murders the bad guy- the one who forced the girl to marry him. Then, Sherlock has to figure all of this out from a vague crime scene in a hotel room."

"Oh, sure," said Artemis, "Well, since you already know about that…Wait, you did already know about that! Why did you ask me then?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Hey, Arty, what's this?"

"Robin," Artemis said through gritted teeth.

"But I really don't know!"

"Robin, that's your utility belt!"

Robin looked down at the object in his hands, and put it back around his waist. "Oh, I guess I do know what that is. Okay, what's-"

"Robin, ENOUGH! What's up with you today?"

"What's up with _you_ today?" Robin countered waving an accusatory finger, "You're not whelmed, you're not feeling the aster, you're not turbed, and you're not traught! That's what's wrong! I'm just trying to help you feel better, but you're being all chalant!"

Artemis sighed. _Would it kill him to make sense every once in a while?_

"How is you asking me random questions, to which you already know the answers I might add, helping me to feel better?"

"Well…You're not thinking about how bad your day was anymore, are you?"

Robin smirked as realization dawned on Artemis's face, and left.

Artemis stood there wide-eyed, and looked at the random objects that Robin had left on the counter.

He was right. She was no longer thinking about how irritating her day was…No, now she was thinking about how irritating Robin could be.

She smiled, and walked towards her room. Whatever Robin did…it worked.

**A/N: I thought, "Let's see: We have annoying little brother Robin beleaguering impatient big sister Artemis. Who shall prevail?" Evidently, it was Robin.**

**Review…Review…Review…Now, doesn't hearing it multiple times make you want to do it?**


	6. Kidnappers continued

**A/N: So, **_**bloodyhell95**_** reviewed recently with seven totally epic suggestions for this fic.**

**Therefore, from The Official Girl Wonder, as per request from **_**bloodyhell95**_**, here's…**

**The Three A's of Dick Grayson: Adorable, Astute, and Annoying**

**Or**

**The Three Curses of Robin**

**PS: This chapter follows the events of Chapter 1 (Kidnappers), so if you don't remember it, you might want to go back and read it.**

**Disclaimer: I dare you to sue me for not writing this thing. I DARE YOU.**

Chapter 6: Kidnappers continued (Adorable)

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen asked simultaneously as they entered the police station.

Well, first off, let's recap some things.

FLASHBACK TIME!

Roy Harper and Barbara Gordon are taking Dick Grayson to the dentist…Dick struggles madly…They get close to the building…Dick starts screaming and tricks everyone into thinking that Roy and Babs are kidnappers…A policeman comes over…An elderly lady hits Roy with her purse…The same elderly lady sprays mace in Babs's face…Then, she sprays mace in Roy's face…Dick starts giggling uncontrollably…Roy begins to make an empty death threat, only to be interrupted by the elderly woman, who is hitting him with her purse again…Roy and Babs get arrested on charges of kidnapping, and Dick Grayson is swinging his feet off of a chair in the Gotham PD lobby…Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen are ticked.

FLASHBACK OVER! (Aw…)

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen asked simultaneously as they entered the police station.

Dick looked up at the approaching adults, and put on his most innocent face, saying, "I didn't want to go to the dentist."

Ollie looked confused. Bruce just sighed and ran a hand through his hair, responding, "Dick, we've talked about this already. Remember the deal? If you don't cause any mischief when you go to the dentist, then you only have to go once a year, not twice."

Dick nodded while Ollie cocked an eyebrow.

"Really, Bruce? When I want Roy to behave, I just bribe him a little."

"What does it mean to bribe?" Dick asked.

"Nothing," both adults responded a bit too quickly. They _really_ didn't want Dick to use that method to his advantage at any time in the near future.

Dick gave them a glare that said, _Okay, I'll let it go for now, but I WILL ask Alfred later._

Bruce responded with a glare that said, _If you do, you're not going on patrol for a week._

Dick: _You wouldn't do that. I'm too cute, and we all know it._

Bruce: _Is that a challenge, boy?_

Dick: _Did I stutter?_

Ollie: "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Not everyone can communicate by glaring at each other, you know. What are you talking about?"

The glaring match went on for a few more seconds until both of their faces went back to normal (which wasn't much different for Bruce), and Dick declared that he had won.

Ollie turned to Bruce with wide eyes. "He _won_? If the Dark Knight can lose a glaring contest to a nine-year old, I'm never visiting Gotham again. I don't trust your protection."

Bruce glared at Ollie, and Ollie stopped talking. Actually, Ollie looked like he was going to have an accident (if you catch my drift).

(Okay, so the Dark Knight can demolish a grown man/fellow vigilante, but he crumbles under the gaze of his prepubescent ward/partner/protégé/son/little boy who secretly plans to take over the world…Add that to my psychological study notes.)

"Bruce?"

Bruce turned to see Commissioner James Gordon walking toward them.

"Jim," he greeted with a nod.

After introductions were made between the commissioner and Ollie, Jim got right down to accusations.

"Bruce, why is my daughter sitting in a jail cell right now?"

"Well, you see-" Bruce started, but was interrupted by the boy tugging on his jacket.

Bruce sighed – he'd honestly had enough of Dick's shenanigans – before glancing downwards. "Yes, Dick?"

"I can explain it, Bruce. I want to apologize."

Bruce raised an eyebrow, but allowed Dick to speak.

"Um, well, Commissioner Gordon sir…Did you know that the electric chair was invented by a dentist?"

All of the adults took a moment to wonder whether they'd heard correctly. After a moment, Jim responded, "Err…No, I didn't know that, son. What's that have to do with the matter at hand?"

"Well, that's why I was so afraid to go to the dentist, sir. I tried to tell Babs and Roy, but they wouldn't listen. So, in a last ditch attempt to save my life, I got them arrested."

Jim would have been upset, or he would have at least called the child's assumptions utter nonsense, but Dick just looked so…_innocent_ as he said that. It was as if no ill thought could ever dwell in the boy's mind.

Thankfully, Bruce was accustomed to dealing with Dick, and brought some reality back to the situation.

"So, you caused Barbara and Roy to get arrested because of some random piece of information you heard?" Bruce asked dryly.

"I didn't want to get…e-lec-tro-cut-ed…Electrocuted! I didn't want to get electrocuted!"

Bruce nearly rolled his eyes. Dick had stopped having so much trouble with long words months ago. He was only doing it to add to the cuteness factor. Of course, Jim and Ollie didn't know that.

"Aw, lighten up on the kid," Ollie said, smiling, "After all, Roy and Barbara aren't in too much trouble."

No sooner had he said it than they heard Roy's familiar yelling.

"I can hear you guys over there! Don't listen! Don't fall under his twisted mind control! THAT KID IS EVIL!"

Roy and Barbara were being led over by three exasperated looking police officers.

"Are you here to bail these kids out?" the female of the group asked.

"Yes," Bruce answered, and then turned to his blond friend, "Ollie, I believe there's some paperwork you need to sign. After all, your kid got arrested."

"But _your_ kid _got_ them arrested," Ollie whined.

Another glaring match ensued, composed of Bruce almost bat-glaring, Ollie looking like he was going to wet himself (again), and Jim rolling his eyes at the two billionaires. After about three seconds, Ollie walked off grumbling to fill out a check.

"Now that that's taken care of," Jim said, turning to the three officers, "I want to know why my daughter was arrested on false charges."

"Um, well you see, Commissioner," replied a very nervous looking cop, "She…They…That little kid was very convincing!"

"Yeah," said the woman, backing up her comrade, "Even when he got into the squad car, you could have sworn that someone had threatened to kill him."

"Well," said Jim, "That doesn't change the fact that you allowed a nine-year old to fool you. You're fortunate that I'm not forcing you to resign for your incompetence."

"Y-yes, sir," all three officers said, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Good. I'm going to see how the paperwork's coming. Come on, Bruce. Barb, I'll be right back."

"Okay, Daddy," responded Barbara.

As soon as the Jim and Bruce were gone, both teens turned to Dick, with the cops still standing behind them.

"What did you do that for?" the teens yelled simultaneously.

Dick looked down at his shoes, and then up at his two friends. Without warning, he ran towards them and pulled the two taller kids into a bear hug.

"I'm sorry, you guys, but I told you that I didn't want to go to the dentist!"

The redheads glanced at each other and sighed.

"It's alright, Dick," Barbara said with another sigh. "Right, Roy?" she added, nudging him not so softly with her elbow.

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Roy.

"Yay! You guys are the bestest bestest best friends in the entire universe!" Dick exclaimed.

Before the two could respond, Dick ran off to find their guardians.

The cops, who had watched the whole exchange, stood still in shocked amazement.

"Wow," one guy with glasses said, "That kid…"

"I know, right?" Roy responded.

"Welcome to our world," added Barbara.

"I mean, really," said the other man. "What was up with that?"

"He's too cute," answered Barbara, shrugging helplessly.

"Uh," said the woman, "Sorry about the mix-up…and good luck with him. I mean that sincerely."

"Thanks," said Roy, "We're going to need it."

**A/N: Ha ha! You just gotta love him.**

**Yes, Roy, you are going to need luck, especially in the later chapters of this fic.**

**Was it what you were looking for, **_**bloodyhell95**_**? ****Only you know. The others are coming up at some random points in the relatively near future. (Shrugs.)**

**Review before I make Dick glare at you…**


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